Someone saw me yesterday and this is what they told me:
You are not self-aware
and you are not content.
And you are not content because
you don't belong.
You don't fit in anywhere or with anyone
and you don't belong with anyone or with any place,
and you will either find a person you fit with
or a place where you belong
or you won't.
(And I can't help but wonder if it is my fault that I don't belong anywhere or with anything, because I reject everything and everyone. And how can I ever figure out where I belong if I can't quite actually (and am unable to theoretically) figure out who I am?)
I don't think I like being seen.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
I read this:
"I said to someone I know "I don't know why this hurts so much"
And she said "it hurts because it mattered"
And that was a huge thing for me to realise
That there are things in life that hurt
And they hurt because they were important"
And then the author goes onto say that the most important thing is not "it will get better" or "it could get worse," but that it is okay to hurt and it hurt because it mattered.
"I said to someone I know "I don't know why this hurts so much"
And she said "it hurts because it mattered"
And that was a huge thing for me to realise
That there are things in life that hurt
And they hurt because they were important"
And then the author goes onto say that the most important thing is not "it will get better" or "it could get worse," but that it is okay to hurt and it hurt because it mattered.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Helen
Helen, GA is this little tourist town in North Georgia where all the buildings have a fake Germanic style. No offense to the lovely townsfolk of Helen, but it looks like a really tacky tourist trap. I guess some people like it, because all the shops on the mainstreet that sell touristy stuff survive. However, the area that surrounds Helen makes it a complete jem. Mountains surround Helen, but not just any mountains--lovely mountains with hiking trails and waterfalls and (almost) free camping places.
I have learned from my mother the poor habit of not planning things very well. This style of not planning has translated into our vacation life very clearly in the past four years..... Christmas during my senior year we decided we were going to go on a ski trip in Colorado about 5 hours before we went--Mom told Jim we were going on vacation while she and I proceeded to pack about 30min after the idea was first mentioned. I have no idea how we afforded that vacation--I made a Christmas tree out of wrapping paper and taped it to a wall because we couldn't really afford a tree--but it was one of my favorite vacations. Well, in like habit, Mom and I decided where we were going and where we were staying the evening before we left...at least we had planned the vacation days a week earlier. Well, we hiked to a different waterfall every day we were there, and, the first day, the hike was so short we decided to hike up the waterfall. It was wet and dangerous and fun minus that Mom slipped and hit her head lightly on a rock.... The second hike was Raven Cliff Falls Trail which is in a state park only about two hours (I timed it on the way back) outside Atlanta and followed a creek 2.5 miles to this beautiful waterfall and swimming hole. The best part was a camp site near the trail head that had two campfires located in a flat space large enough to hold at least four tents next to a large bend in the creek that a rope swing above it. The entire place was begging for a bunch of twenty-somethings to take over and,...... well....ya, have large amounts of fun.
Regardless if my friends want to go camping, I bought this book with pictures and directions to waterfalls all over GA and SC, and I think I'm going to be going on adventures all year.My goal is to hike to all the waterfalls in my book before I graduate OU. If you want to come along on any adventures, let me know and we can plan accordingly.
Overall it was a nice vacation. I suppose I am pretty lucky to have spent the entire weekend alone with my Mom and to mostly get along the whole time.
I have learned from my mother the poor habit of not planning things very well. This style of not planning has translated into our vacation life very clearly in the past four years..... Christmas during my senior year we decided we were going to go on a ski trip in Colorado about 5 hours before we went--Mom told Jim we were going on vacation while she and I proceeded to pack about 30min after the idea was first mentioned. I have no idea how we afforded that vacation--I made a Christmas tree out of wrapping paper and taped it to a wall because we couldn't really afford a tree--but it was one of my favorite vacations. Well, in like habit, Mom and I decided where we were going and where we were staying the evening before we left...at least we had planned the vacation days a week earlier. Well, we hiked to a different waterfall every day we were there, and, the first day, the hike was so short we decided to hike up the waterfall. It was wet and dangerous and fun minus that Mom slipped and hit her head lightly on a rock.... The second hike was Raven Cliff Falls Trail which is in a state park only about two hours (I timed it on the way back) outside Atlanta and followed a creek 2.5 miles to this beautiful waterfall and swimming hole. The best part was a camp site near the trail head that had two campfires located in a flat space large enough to hold at least four tents next to a large bend in the creek that a rope swing above it. The entire place was begging for a bunch of twenty-somethings to take over and,...... well....ya, have large amounts of fun.
Regardless if my friends want to go camping, I bought this book with pictures and directions to waterfalls all over GA and SC, and I think I'm going to be going on adventures all year.My goal is to hike to all the waterfalls in my book before I graduate OU. If you want to come along on any adventures, let me know and we can plan accordingly.
Overall it was a nice vacation. I suppose I am pretty lucky to have spent the entire weekend alone with my Mom and to mostly get along the whole time.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Said The Whale
Did you know whales could talk? because they say things and such.
Earlier this summer I thought it would be a good idea to let my brother know that I love him and I don't want to push him, but I'm here if he ever wants to talk. He responded with a collection of vague explanations/excuses for what he said in October, but the gist was that, "ya, we can talk." So that was interesting to say the least. I think we're both quite unsure about what to talk about, so we've been talking about and sharing music, or rather, he is trying to instill some sort of musical education in his poor, ignorant sister. Some of the bands sound just a little noisy to me, but listen to this:
Earlier this summer I thought it would be a good idea to let my brother know that I love him and I don't want to push him, but I'm here if he ever wants to talk. He responded with a collection of vague explanations/excuses for what he said in October, but the gist was that, "ya, we can talk." So that was interesting to say the least. I think we're both quite unsure about what to talk about, so we've been talking about and sharing music, or rather, he is trying to instill some sort of musical education in his poor, ignorant sister. Some of the bands sound just a little noisy to me, but listen to this:
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